So this is what I get when I complain to a few of you, here, on my pages.  Ok, so I have been bitching a bit too much. Please forgive me. I shall focus on other things offline.
To K:  Congrats! I will miss you!
To LC: Congrats on the house! Don't let *dude* stop by, or he'll move in.
To J: Just tell her you have a girlfriend (or boyfriend, lol). She's got to eventually stop hounding you, right? Oh wait, you don't know this is here! I actually have to tell you in person.
To K2: For the last time, NO!

Seriously.... seriously... all four of you sent me this, and I already had it on my hard-drive as reference. I get the point, it's not true. You're not the only ones to tell me it. I have failed to convey the point. I don't know what my point is.
But I'm not staring at the board, and it's not the only one up there in the hypothetical/imaginary waiting room of life. I get the point, you're sick of it.
I will ponder your suggestions/demands/ideas.

I want:

To be riding a Piaggio MP3 500. You can check it out here. Yeah, I know it's a scooter, and not a motorcycle. But I have horrible balance, and fell in lust with the idea that a less-than-four-wheel machine could compensate for my anatomical shortcomings. I still need to see if it's street legal and if it requires a motorcycle license. But I know it will likely never happen, more for the 'I could die tragically' than being teased for having a bike with training wheels.
To have the place everybody wants to visit/hang out at. The idea of a full house makes me smile.
A big bowl of soup for dinner... and not have to go to the store to get it right now.
My class to be over, because that means I'm on vacation.
To stop having inspiration strike at the wrong times (like when I have nothing to write it down or at the wrong place).
To lose those last 10 pounds and hit another goal already!
To make everybody else happy, and delight in the thought, "I did that".
To finish all these projects.
To be where I feel I should be, wherever that is.
To not be feeling like crud because I ran myself crazy all month.
To be hanging with you.

No, that's not me. I found it on PostSecrets. Yes, I read it every once in a while.

Is the billboard on again?

I ended up staying late after class on Thursday because Febtober had to go do something and ended up taking longer than expected. Anyways, I wound up just chatting with a few of my classmates outside of class. I'm hiding a few tidbits about myself, unless they flat out ask key questions. I'm also not blabbing what scores I'm getting because all I hear is most of them complaining they may not pass. (I am passing, because I freaking study!) Then out of left field, the older guy in my class (about the age of my parents), looks at me and says:

You're just a glutton for punishment, aren't ya? I can tell by the way you put everybody else first. You're out here waiting on your brother and it's not bothering you, but you keep checking that door to expect him to walk through. After a couple minutes, you turn around and focus on the group, only to look back when there's a lull in the conversation.

After I closed my mouth at hearing something usually someone that has known me for years tells me, and flashing back to all the other people that make that comment, I looked at him and replied:

Tis my nature. Don't know how, but it is.

So as we all parted ways for the weekend, I sat down on the bench and waited for my brother. And realized for a month, I have been running around like a headless chicken to avoid the lulls in conversation.
But I know I cannot outrun my feelings; avoiding the people that draw key ones out is not wise either. Bitching about things I have no real influence over is no help. But I do it anyways in hopes I may be wrong.
To my gal buds and their loves: I will partially live vicariously through you while trying not to overstay my welcome as your coupled lives go on. Don't let my jealousy stop you from telling me everything. I want to know. Hopefully, when you think things are so annoying/troublesome for whatever reason, you can just remember that one of your fondest friends is jealous of you-and not just because you're in love. I envy some of the qualities I hold so highly in you. With the plans you have cooking, I wish for us all to enjoy the benefits and am so ready to take a wild ride through the next few months/years/decades.
To the one I can't stop thinking about: Find a girl. It's my last hope of an 'off' button. You are the exception to almost every rule I have been able to write about myself. I would never do something to purposely make you uncomfortable, but I know you don't feel the same. That should have been enough, it was in the past. Fall in love or find something to be utterly happy so I stop hoping I can make you smile. You have failed to be able to turn me off. I'll try not to think you deserve better as I attempt to stop loving you.
To my sisters: We kicked ass doing mom and dad's anniversary. We deserve a break. Oh, that's right, we're getting our hair done tomorrow. Score for Two for the suggestion!
To the ones I don't call/write nearly enough: Miss you, will tell you soon. Thinking of having a "Moving Out" party when I find an acceptable new place. But I need to wait and get finances in order.
To work: You are killing my social life. It is too easy to make money, I want MEMORIES. The new and newly enforced rules are making you unbearable. I would rather work for my family than put up with the crap you are doling me. The perks of a lot of time off and health benefits are in no way enough for the guilt trips, meager 'atta-boys' and constant desire for more out of me when I am giving you all I got. Time to go Soup Nazi on you- GO TO THE END OF THE LINE!

Oh Holy Sh*t!

You know that I am a massive list maker. And even bigger list-loser. I confess, I usually find lists I wrote for groceries, recipes to try, restaurants to visit, gifts to buy, replacement clothes to buy, music videos to see, movies I saw previews for and want to investigate, books to read, random things to look up on the internet, etc. I could list some more topics, but you get the point, lol. Well, I found a list... not where it belonged (aka, my coffee table or purse). It was one I had made months ago, in prep for my parents' 30th anniversary.  CRAP! Such amazing plans, such cute ideas for gifts and an amazing cake idea.
But with my need to make myself insanely busy, I have no time to make 98% of the stuff on the list. Ok, downsize time... I can run to the store and get stuff for recipes. Talked to Two, and made reservations for dinner... planned something to get us in the area for said dinner to avoid being late. Got Three on board, and told her to bring cash.
Ok... now I am covered for Friday... I think.
Oh {bleep, bleep, bleep}! That means if I want to do anything supremely amazing for my next birthday, I need to get to work now! At the rate I get projects done, I need to start now.
Where's my paper and pen?
Ah, here's some paper... "Things to get done before October:"... Oh crud!
Ok, I'll just flip it over... "Make plans with Febtober for his b-day Oct 29th".
Double crud! I have my clinicals that day. Ok, I'll do it early... which means another trip to the store for his usual birthday treat. I need to see if he wants to do any haunted houses... and keep from being grounded.
Maybe my quest to "be busy" is starting to have drawbacks...

On the positive side, and to give you some more randomness by numbers:
72: Days until vacation
11: more pounds and my total is 100 lost
8: months to fit into my bikini... Must stop doing OT and do exercise DVD!
6: people that have or will have random texts from me this week :)  (new mini-project)
4: months and I do research for a new apartment or consider houses
3: months to do as much on my list (on the right) as I can!
1: Seconds it took me to curse again at the amount of stuff to get done

I think I found a New Years resolution... stop with the lists!