Is the billboard on again?

I ended up staying late after class on Thursday because Febtober had to go do something and ended up taking longer than expected. Anyways, I wound up just chatting with a few of my classmates outside of class. I'm hiding a few tidbits about myself, unless they flat out ask key questions. I'm also not blabbing what scores I'm getting because all I hear is most of them complaining they may not pass. (I am passing, because I freaking study!) Then out of left field, the older guy in my class (about the age of my parents), looks at me and says:

You're just a glutton for punishment, aren't ya? I can tell by the way you put everybody else first. You're out here waiting on your brother and it's not bothering you, but you keep checking that door to expect him to walk through. After a couple minutes, you turn around and focus on the group, only to look back when there's a lull in the conversation.

After I closed my mouth at hearing something usually someone that has known me for years tells me, and flashing back to all the other people that make that comment, I looked at him and replied:

Tis my nature. Don't know how, but it is.

So as we all parted ways for the weekend, I sat down on the bench and waited for my brother. And realized for a month, I have been running around like a headless chicken to avoid the lulls in conversation.
But I know I cannot outrun my feelings; avoiding the people that draw key ones out is not wise either. Bitching about things I have no real influence over is no help. But I do it anyways in hopes I may be wrong.
To my gal buds and their loves: I will partially live vicariously through you while trying not to overstay my welcome as your coupled lives go on. Don't let my jealousy stop you from telling me everything. I want to know. Hopefully, when you think things are so annoying/troublesome for whatever reason, you can just remember that one of your fondest friends is jealous of you-and not just because you're in love. I envy some of the qualities I hold so highly in you. With the plans you have cooking, I wish for us all to enjoy the benefits and am so ready to take a wild ride through the next few months/years/decades.
To the one I can't stop thinking about: Find a girl. It's my last hope of an 'off' button. You are the exception to almost every rule I have been able to write about myself. I would never do something to purposely make you uncomfortable, but I know you don't feel the same. That should have been enough, it was in the past. Fall in love or find something to be utterly happy so I stop hoping I can make you smile. You have failed to be able to turn me off. I'll try not to think you deserve better as I attempt to stop loving you.
To my sisters: We kicked ass doing mom and dad's anniversary. We deserve a break. Oh, that's right, we're getting our hair done tomorrow. Score for Two for the suggestion!
To the ones I don't call/write nearly enough: Miss you, will tell you soon. Thinking of having a "Moving Out" party when I find an acceptable new place. But I need to wait and get finances in order.
To work: You are killing my social life. It is too easy to make money, I want MEMORIES. The new and newly enforced rules are making you unbearable. I would rather work for my family than put up with the crap you are doling me. The perks of a lot of time off and health benefits are in no way enough for the guilt trips, meager 'atta-boys' and constant desire for more out of me when I am giving you all I got. Time to go Soup Nazi on you- GO TO THE END OF THE LINE!