The only difference between a rut and a grave is their dimensions.
- Ellen Glasgow
Along with the other anniversaries I intend to share, this will hopefully be the last mention of the stories they entail.
Today marks the last time that I talked to my ex. Our breakup was the result of a confession to an offense I could not forgive. I fled less than twelve hours after he came clean. I knew as I tearfully packed my life into various boxes, that I had tried my damndest and had given him all I could. After calling a friend whom helped me assess my stuff from his, I left with no regrets other than being blind to what was right in front of my face. I also left with all the sheets, cookware, dry goods, books, glasses, plates, silverware and alcohol.
I had given him chances during our time together to end the relationship if our mutual evaluation was lacking. He was a leopard that could not change his spots. He also just stopped talking to me.
He made promises to fix things. As the days went on, I realized he was still lying. But we were talking again. Really talking, and even talking about nothing at all. I had even forgiven what I thought I could never get past. A part of me hoped that the years I had invested in "us" would help to keep us close. I thought we could be friends, but his inability to be honest with me or even himself proved too large an obstacle. I was also still in a lot of pain, emotionally.
I let the days pass. The man I loved was an illusion; it took a very long time to realize it was all smoke in mirrors. He was someone that changed me, in a lot of bad ways, but some good. Our split was part of my prompt to get back to who I was before... to rediscover some of the traits I had let go of as I grew older.
So on this day, I intend to have a chuckle at "surviving" without him for a year-and that there is no recipe for one of his favorite dishes I made. [ I also just found out he has a social networking account... and quickly adjusted my settings to keep him from seeing anything of importance.] Along similar lines, here's a comic found on xkcd.com
