Excuse me, but my camera phone doesn't take good photos. There was nothing on TV today, and it's December.... Yes, I baked a lot of cookies. So many that I cannot find containers. And I still have dough... I hope my gal pals don't think I am trying to fatten them up, but I'm bringing some for our movie night. It seems any time I read a recipe, I instantly double it. Some people have dyslexia, illiteracy or other reading difficulties.... I have multiple numberism, lol. The hilarious thing is that I cannot eat them. Yes, I made stuff that upsets my stomach because I know someone else will like them. I don't have someone in mind, just random friends and family. I know, you're wondering... why did I bake if I didn't have a specific group of people in mind. It's just something I do. That, and I am trying to get in the Christmas spirit.
Every year, since I was about 8, it was a time when the rest of the world was like me. People smiled at each other, there was goodwill, acceptance and joy that was held back any other time of the year. It was a short period of time where you didn't get weird looks for complimenting someone, or holding a door. Good behavior during the year was awarded with gifts, and my family and I celebrated at mass and home. Happiness was the norm.
Flash forward twenty years, and I am having trouble finding my Christmas spirit. I have been having that difficulty for a while, but unlike previous years, it is still lacking. Usually about the tenth or so, I get my jolly demeanor and enjoy the time of year. Now... now I am cold, tired, stressed and can't seem to let the good feelings find a space in my head or heart. Something is off.... and I need to figure out what and why.
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