It's all about me right now, we'll get to you later.

I've been in a selfish mood lately. I've been planning a party. When the first attempt got scrapped because of schedule conflicts, inadequate notice and poor planning on my part, I moved it almost a month later.  I became obsessed, and greedily selfish.  My gal pals must be a little sick of me asking questions, or at least turning the subject to it and not giving any really good info.
So today, I sat down to figure out why.I thought back to the same question a few of my guests have asked, "What's the occasion?".  I wanted it to be 'just because', and even made a cute list of potential reasons. But I know myself, and rarely do my actions not stem from some sort of motive.
So here are some, in no order.
1) It's on my 101/1001
2) I have not had a party of my own since I was in high school, maybe grade school.
3) I am laying claim to this yearly get-together of my HS clique
4) When I cook, it's for an army- I hate leftovers, so I want people to feed.
5) My happy moments are thoughts of my guests, I want them there
6) I want to stop hiding up here
7) A break from work (which is an Epic Fail b/c of the OT requirement for the week of the party)
8) To celebrate them... I am just providing the food.
9) To strengthen our friendships, to catch up/find out where my group is.
10) Potentially add more names to my list of "I can lean on" people.

First thing I did was buy some more furniture. I am a little embarrassed of where I am (financially/socially speaking).  Apartment life means not enough storage; I remedied that a little. I purposely did not invite work buddies.  I ran out of room, and wanted to have people I don't see daily (aka, the ones I miss!)
With almost a month to prep, I want to go overboard.  Decadence and deliciousness is planned. I have been crazily focused on the menu, hoping I can find all the fresh ingredients I need.
I have been so focused, I almost threw a hissy fit at work when they announced they wanted even more hours, including the day of my party.  I can get things done, but with the new time requirement, I have no time to relax before my shindig.  If they dare to switch the available times on me, I may have to feign illness and get an occurence (think like getting your name written on the board in grade school).  My work-life balance is seriously skewed to the former.
My bosses had the audacity to ask me why I would plan something, knowing we were having so many issues.
I daydreamed about stapling their eyelids closed.
My work buds realized they had gotten snubbed, and looked hurt. I asked them if they wanted to go to the gym offered on property to employees when OT dies down. They got further upset.  I guess I will have lunch breaks to further obsess over my menu.
I am going to skip tomorrow's voluntary hours. Instead, I am going to the grocery store. I won't spend all my OT pay... just enough to get a better quality and larger quantity of the ingredients I want to play with.
Now, if only I could harness this devotion to other areas... like finding a different job or school program!