Alex Trebek: For how much?
Sean Connery: Suprise me, you filthy bastard!
Alex Trebek: Okay, that's completely unnecessary. Months That Start With Feb for $800. This is the only month that starts with Feb. [ Sean Connery buzzes in ] Mr. Connery?
Sean Connery: Febtober!
Alex Trebek:No. [ Calista Flockhart buzzes in ] Calista Flockhart.
Calista Flockhart: What is.. Febturday?
Alex Trebek: No.
Sean Connery: She said turd!
Alex Trebek: I hate you! The answer was February. That's the month that starts with Feb.
Had I been able to find the video clip, it would be funnier. It's one of my favorites (SNL Season 24, Episode 16). With it being the last day of January, it seemed fitting. That, and the three emails I just read, all asking if I would mind "helping a buddy out". One wants to pick my brain for 'romantic crap that could maybe get me laid', another wants me to cook their sweetie a meal and then babysit so the pair can enjoy the food in peace (but make no mention of paying me-last time I "helped", I was out the money for the food and was told to not return until they called...at 1 a.m.), and the last one wants to use me as an excuse to help 'coordinate a triple date'. That means I have to text at specified times so they can leave after they get whatever they want from said 'dates'. Take a wild guess what day they all want my services for... yup, two weeks from today.
After I stopped laughing so hard I am skipping my cardio, I replied to all of them. After being accused of being selfish and rude, two of them are refusing to talk to me. "You're single, it's not like I'm asking you to change your plans. You don't have any!" I hung up on that one. "You're such a romantic, and I got a date. I just don't know if she's girlfriend material. It's not like I'm NOT gonna call her..." Hung up on that one, too.
So I needed to find that clip, but will settle for the transcript I found online. I couldn't even make it into the month without somebody trying to ruin it. A dating/matching site emailed me, asking me to come back, a sister lamenting that her beau will not be spending Valentine's with her because he has a church youth group thing to do, work is advertising and decorating for the holiday (more than they did for Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years), and the flowers to the lovely ladies have already started. I don't really care, and will likely participate in the CareGrams (little slips of paper with a small candy taped to it to tell a coworker you were thinking of them). I helped hang some pink, red and white crepe paper, gave out the recipe for my sugar cookies to include it in a book, and made the decision to not get all worked up.
But stay tuned, anniversary two is coming up.
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