So much better

I cheat-at Solitaire. When my cards no longer let me continue, rather than scoop them all up and re-deal, I shuffle the pile of cards in active play.  I also will run my video game character on to a spike/into lava/off a cliff to make them do the flashy thing so they are invincible if I am having trouble getting past a point. You'll get the idea in a second, I need to skip to a related topic.
Call it a reset button, an emotional enema, taking a quick way to total hearing loss, or just a good night out.  I went to a terrific concert, and it was all the above.  The idea stemmed from me getting into a really bad mood. I promised myself that I was gonna get out of it, without infecting anyone else and to not drag anybody into my mental block. See, this time, I was so locked up, I couldn't even begin to sort things out. Things piled up too quickly. I managed to not drag anybody into the roadblock, but did spread a little of my nastiness. For one night, all the BS of the last couple weeks got shuffled around and left to sit while I found my center.
I had to cheat my way out. And do it somewhat secretly. Since I lack the resouces for one of my other reset buttons, I took myself out to do something that has yet to fail- a concert. Listening to music at my place was not going to cut it. I had to feel the vibrations in my chest and see the artists pour themselves into the performance.
So I sat there, wrapping myself into the venue, breathing in the notes; trying to drown myself in the music while fighting the temptation to close my eyes and shut the world out. I needed them to show me what passion looked like. In classic 'me', I got excited and finally got to the point that I was smiling and nibbling my lower lip.  I can't talk about some of my recent issues, but suffice to say that the need for me to be a "good daughter" is draining me in more ways than one, along with separate issues with my folks, work, play, my past, etc.
When I can completely absorb myself into something like music, I can feel with no remorse, no consequences, no bad. For (usually) a day, I'm in a state of Zen. Nothing can faze me, nothing can get in deep enough to hurt me, I feel like I can handle anything. I go all flashy (like Mario), while the game of life goes on, so I can pass whatever obstacle is in my way.
I just can't use this trick too often. I need to collect enough coins to buy a virtual life and real ticket.
So for the next day, I am going to do what needs to get done, sort through what needs my attention and break through my barriers.
Right after I sleep, lol.